Category Archives: young hollywood

Lindsay Lohan is done with pussy and now prefers cock

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Turning her rail-thin back on carpet-munching forever (it seems), Lindsay Lohan spent a wild and crazy night with a bunch of dudes proving once and again that you can’t put a horny slut down. Yup, she was seen partying hard with a bunch of dudes and is now jumping from man to man hoping to score that one who would not only make her get her shit together, but give her the much-needed protein shake that she’s been missing all this time dating Samantha Ronson. Maybe now that she’s got a regular supply of sperm, she’ll get back a few pounds and not make her look like a concentration camp survivor.

Yup, she was seen recently looking as thin as usual and it’s only getting worse. And by worse I mean her boobs are finally feeling the burn. Known for her massive jugs, Lindsay has built a career out of them. And with the rumors of anorexia swirling around her, her breasts seemed to be unaffected. But lately her boobies have flattened out like someone let the air out of them, sagging down to her bellybutton it seems. Which is bad news for LiLo and her supposed foray into live, on-stage stripping. Who would want to pay good money to got a fancy Las Vegas hotel and watch some crack-addicted starlet bare her flat titties on stage. No one, that’s who. So hopefully she gets those babies back on track before they hit her knees.

And so, what can we expect out of our dear Miss Lohan now that she’s back on the straight and narrow (but for her hopefully curved and thick)? Maybe we’ll see her a bit happier from now on, a bit more satisfied. After all, it takes you missing something to know that’s what you really want. So this time away from the peen would help her re-evaluate her career, life plan, and spirituality. See, all the men of the world are right – the penis is a wonderful thing. And now that Lindsay is back on it, the world will be a much better place because of it. As wonderful as the wild and crazy celebs that you’ll find right here.

Evan Rachel Wood will suck for TV

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She’s perhaps one of the more controversial starlets to come out of Hollywood. Evan Rachel Wood shocked audiences with her raw and disturbing performance of an out-of-control teenager in the film Thirteen that she did when she was actually thirteen, adding a more disturbing element to her performance. In the film she takes drugs, gets into a fist fight, has sex, fights with her mom, and makes out with co-star and Twilight alum Nikki Reed. Her graphic portrayal had definitely got her noticed. Since then, her off-screen life has gotten more notice than her professional life. Hooking up with then married shock rocker Marilyn Manson whom she’s still seeing to this day. Who knew this gamine ingenue had a dark and scary side. Well, we will get to see that side this June when she makes a two-episode arc on the returning HBO hit True Blood.

Yup, the paper-pale actress is set to play a really old 15-year-old Creole vampire in the hit series that debuts it’s second season in a couple of months. In it, she’ll be portraying a queen bee of sorts, a powerful vamp that wreaks havoc on the town of Bon Temps. Since she already looks like she sleeps in a coffin, it seems like a perfect fit for her. And don’t turn your nose up on this just because it’s TV. The show is helmed by Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball who won an Oscar for writing American Beauty and stars Academy Award winner Anna Paquin, who picked up an award for Best Actress for the role in last January’s Golden Globe Awards. So clearly it’s a quality project that will definitely get a lot of buzz.

What I’m really interested in is if, considering the show’s propensity towards nudity and topless babes (Anna, Cloverfield’s Lizzy Caplan, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine’s leading lady Lynn Collins have all bared their boobs on the show) Evan will do the same. But with just a two ep appearance, I doubt that will happen. Not because she’s shy about showing tit, since she did it in Across The Universe, but maybe because it’s not that big of a part. But hey, a chance to see Evan do something completely out there is definitely something worth seeing. So until June comes around, get your Evan Rachel Wood fix right here, a site that lets you in on what Hollywood stars are ashamed of. Like fucking Marilyn Manson.

Mischa Barton heads back to TV?

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It’s been a while since the teen soap opera The O.C. has ended. And like it’s trite storylines, the post-show career of Mischa Barton has been a veritable checklist of bad-girl young Hollywood behavior. DUI, arrests, drunken public behavior, nipslips, upskirts… you get the idea. She was (and still is) on her way to great obscurity becoming nothing more than a has-been.

Yet, since we celebrate the pathetic and obscene, rejoicing in their crazy ways, perhaps secretly still wishing we were them, no matter how many times we watch them fall and make a fool out of themselves, we still rejoice whenever they do their best to get back on the proverbial horse.

Well, looks like Mischa might just have a chance to mount that horse once again, as long as she doesn’t fuck it up. It’s rumored that she’s being considered to join the cast of the revamped Melrose Place (or Melrose V’09 as I call it in my head) set to debut this fall. If things pan out and she gets to join the cast, then at the very least she’ll have a steady income to support her drug habit (Just kidding! Or am I…). With all the magazines she’s come out in the past year (I counted 4, and it’s only March) it seems like she’s the one doing the campaigning. I guess she’s really that desperate for work.

Truth be told, I wouldn’t mind seeing Mischa do Melrose. It would be great to explore her nasty side. And maybe there’ll be some lezzie love scenes, since they are updating the series for today’s audience. With all the bed-hopping and partner-swapping that went on in the original, I wonder how far the updated version will go. Probably not as far as Mischa going nude since it’ll still be network TV. But if you’re itching to see Mischa a little less clothed, try this place out and maybe you’ll get lucky.

WTF is up with AnnaLynne McCord’s face?!

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Why oh why would anyone, ANYONE, go out of the house looking like this? It doesn’t seem to be a problem for 90210 slut AnnaLynne McCord. I mean, come on…

Looking like she spent the whole day two feet away from the sun, then attempted to hide it with terrible foundation and even worse concealer, AnnaLynne is a walking disaster. Fug doesn’t even begin to describe this chick’s appearance. It doesn’t help that she’s practically skin and bones and has a smile that goes all the way behind her ears. It’s like one of those shrunken heads before they become shrunk.

I for one will not stand for this sort of attention-whoring. AnnaLynne, just go back to your tried and true look-at-me-tactic: the nipple slip. You’re practically the master at that, having done it, what, three times. And 90210 has only been around less than a year! It’s obvious that you’re terrified of being out of the spotlight. But trust me, this is not the way to go. What’s next? The zany outfits? The crazy family members who come floating out of the woodwork? Nonsensical behavior? A movie with Pauly Shore?

My advice, stick with the nipple slips. Then maybe move up to the pussy flash. Shaved first, then unshaven. Then do the full spread-legged. Then when that pans out, time to bring out the big guns: the fuck vid. That’ll go a long way. Way more than coming out in clown make-up after being crisped like bacon. And definitely much more jizz-inducing. Kinda like the stuff over here. Celebs, models, actresses, and all-around hotness.