Amy Winehouse gets drunk and passes out. Must be Tuesday.

It seems that nearly dying and losing whatever career she has left has not let booze-hound and crack-head Amy Winehouse from reaching for the sky. And by sky I mean Skyy Vodka. It sure hasn’t dampened her spirit in the least. And by spirit I mean the many available bottled and awaiting eager lips to provide an escape from it all. Just goes to show that some people just cannot change.

She’s still on the island resort of St. Lucia where she seems to have been for months now, and she was reported to have fainted while doing some crazy karate moves. Kinda like the ones you see here. When word of what happened got out the spin team chalked it up to “dehydration” claiming that Amy has been having so much fun that she forgot to hydrate. That would have been a perfectly good excuse if people didn’t spot her at a local club the next day downing drinks like they were becoming extinct. It didn’t help when a few hours later she was seen passed out stone-cold drunk at one of the tables. Looks like the bout of dehydration struck her again!

Now, I am not gonna sit here and preach about the dangers of alcohol. That would be hypocritical of me. After all, most people who did great things were drunks. Earnest Hemingway. Lionel Barrymore. Pretty much everyone during the Roman empire. George W. Bush. Okay, that last one is debatable. So may be this is Amy’s way of channeling her artistic juices (I so DO NOT wanna think about Amy WInehouse’s juices) and funneling them into her music. The only problem is, she’s not doing any of her music. Record company executives are furious over the long wait for her to finish her new album, and they’re running out of patience. They would abandon plans, but they’ve already paid her a very hefty advance on the songs. So she’s just wasting that money away on cheap booze and crazy karate lessons.

So if she is one to glug before greatness, then let her be. But use this prodigious talent wisely. Get results. Work first, paaaarty later. Don’t fall on your face and drown in a pool of your own vomit. Get your bony ass moving and do amazing things. The crazy can wait. For now, have a little bit of creative flow and let things smooth out of you. Who knows, you just might enjoy it.

And you will definitely enjoy some crazy, sexy, and revealing celeb stuff here.

Lindsay Lohan to spend the rest of her life in a bikini

When you’re a celebrity and your career is in the crapper, there are certain things you can do to still try and keep yourself in the public eye. One, do an low-budget movie where you play either a lesbian or a drug addict or a serial killer (or a combination of those – drug-addicted serial killing lesbian) where you constantly take your clothes off “for art’s sake”. Another thing you can do is write a tell-all memoir where you dish on every celeb secret you know for the sake of your Hollywood friendships. Then there’s the go-crazy-shave-your-head-cry-in-front-of-your-house-while-the-paparazzi-snap-away tactic that was perfected by a certain pop singer. If none of those options seem at all appealing to you, then do what Lindsay Lohan did this past week. Get photographed in nothing else but a bikini.

Yup, the anorexic, seemingly former lesbian is currently vacationing in Maui where she and her family with her are literally stalked by the paps. And not wanting to disappoint, Lindsay is always rocking the bikini. First, she came out to a park where she caught some sun in a white swimsuit. Then she went on to do some city strolling in a black bikini bottom and some kind of top. Then she hit some falls in a black two piece string number. All the while the photogs are just following her every move and capturing every moment for the press. Which we, as celeb-crazy people lap up.

Now, first of all, despite the fact that she’s Lindsay Lohan and can pretty much do whatever the fuck she wants, I don’t think that with her current bony-bod state that she should be walking around in a bikini 24/7. She could seriously hurt someone with that bony frame. She could impale someone while kneeing them in the groin. She could stab someone else with those bony elbows. If anything, she should be as padded and protected as possible when she goes out in the world. Because with all her legal troubles, I don’t think she should add manslaughter to her growng number of police cases. But as is the point of this entry, photos of Lindsay not wearing a bikini are nowhere to be seen. Funny that huh? So I guess she finally figured out how to stay relevant without pesky film projects or recording deals or modeling gigs – just go out in a bikini and wait. Soon, the talk will come flitting in after. But if you wanna see more than just talk but actual action, head on over to this site and get an eyefull of Hollywood scandals.