She went from stick-thin with no boobies when she started, then curvy with fake boobies towards the middle of her career, then big and busty with quarelling breasties a couple years back, slimmed down for her last album release that made a People Magazine cover, and now singer/actress/yo-yo dieter Mariah Carey is back to being a heffer. Yup, after asking people to Touch Her Body, it seems that now there is a lot more to touch. According to reports, in the midst of recording her next album (barfly entitled Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel) she has gained twenty pounds that people can clearly see from her many many photo ops and red carpet appearances. She now looks even more drag-a-licious than ever bordering on looking like a linebacker. But that’s not Mariah’s biggest concern right now.

She’s gotten a bit of bad luck with her movie career (or lack thereof) because her latest craptastic Tenesse made a mere seven hundred dollars in it’s opening weekend. Seven hundred! With the amount of money she spends on her Hello Kitty collection you’d think she would fork over a few thousand more to buy tickets to her own movie. Just like what Beyonce supposedly did for her movie Obsessed and ended up being the number one movie of that weekend. Mariah clearly doesn’t know how to get ahead in the movie business. That makes the fifth consecutive big-screen flop for Mariah. The Bachelor, Glitter, Wise Girls, and State Property 2 being her previous “films”. You would think she’d get a clue by now. She may have better luck with her next film, the Sundance-winning drama Push: Based on the Novel by Sapphire which will be released in November.

So while she’s packing on the pounds and making movies that flop, Mariah is still keeping busy with trying to make more radio-friendly music. Now that E=MC2 failed to reach expectations, she’s hoping her next release will bring her more luck. And for that, she knows she can’t be a fatty. So she’ll go on some kind of crash diet (read: diet pills) before the album is released so she’ll be airbrush-ready by the time it comes out. After all, it would be pretty difficult to photoshop an entire music video. And with the way she’s proud of her chi-chis, I doubt she’s want an entire vid where we just see her face. So let’s await the return of Mariah – bulimia and all. Until then, check out some hot Hollywood honeys doing dirty deeds right here.