Category Archives: pop singer

Jessica Simpson is not fat, just Photoshopped in Vanity Fair

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Yup, she’s done it again. Jessica “You Call This Fat?!” Simpson is once again the topic of conversation by everyone in the blogverse for two things: One she lands on the cover of one of the most respected and renowned award-winning magazines on the planet – Vanity Fair, and two: she screams out the headline which I will use as her middle name from now on out of sheer hilarity. I can only imagine how someone of her z-list caliber end up on the cover of such an important magazine. Was Valerie Bertinelli unavailable? How about Suzanne Summers?

In the clearly digitally changed pictures on the cover and inside, she spews “wisdom” about accepting your body for what it is and not giving in to the media standards that plague everyone who shows just an ounce of extra flabbage. While I agree with that view to a certain extent, it pisses me off that she continues to call herself “normal size”. In the real world, yes. But in Hollywood, honey – she’s fat. Let’s just come right out an say it. Owning one’s size is a huge part of people’s perception of who one is. Celebs like Kirstie Alley, Delta Burke, even Scarlett Johansson have all owned their respective sizes and said they love how they look. So when someone as gargantuan as Jessica says she’s not fat, how are people supposed to take that shit seriously? It just adds more fuel to the ridicule. You know what they say – denial is not just a river in Egypt.

To add insult to this unbelievable circumstance, the magazine where all this fuckery is loacated in is one of the most respected publications in the entire world. A magazine where the essays contained within have won Pulitzers and Nobel prizes. Where the featured photographers are world-renowned and sought-after. And where intelligent people go to satiate their need for insightful commentary from everything from film to politics. So why would these people resort to the sort of tabloid journalism I would come to expect from something life Us Weekly? That is the big mystery surrounding this crap. Some say Daddy Simpson paid a lot of money for this to happen. Others say VF needs a bit of young readers to improve their circulation. I say Jessica gave every member of the magazine staff hummers and had all of them stick things in her ass. That would be the only explanation why this happened. Whatever the reason, it’s here and we just have to deal with it. Because that’s Hollywood for you. Crazy in every way. Just like the celebs you’ll find here – crazy in every way.

Amy Winehouse gets drunk and passes out. Must be Tuesday.

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It seems that nearly dying and losing whatever career she has left has not let booze-hound and crack-head Amy Winehouse from reaching for the sky. And by sky I mean Skyy Vodka. It sure hasn’t dampened her spirit in the least. And by spirit I mean the many available bottled and awaiting eager lips to provide an escape from it all. Just goes to show that some people just cannot change.

She’s still on the island resort of St. Lucia where she seems to have been for months now, and she was reported to have fainted while doing some crazy karate moves. Kinda like the ones you see here. When word of what happened got out the spin team chalked it up to “dehydration” claiming that Amy has been having so much fun that she forgot to hydrate. That would have been a perfectly good excuse if people didn’t spot her at a local club the next day downing drinks like they were becoming extinct. It didn’t help when a few hours later she was seen passed out stone-cold drunk at one of the tables. Looks like the bout of dehydration struck her again!

Now, I am not gonna sit here and preach about the dangers of alcohol. That would be hypocritical of me. After all, most people who did great things were drunks. Earnest Hemingway. Lionel Barrymore. Pretty much everyone during the Roman empire. George W. Bush. Okay, that last one is debatable. So may be this is Amy’s way of channeling her artistic juices (I so DO NOT wanna think about Amy WInehouse’s juices) and funneling them into her music. The only problem is, she’s not doing any of her music. Record company executives are furious over the long wait for her to finish her new album, and they’re running out of patience. They would abandon plans, but they’ve already paid her a very hefty advance on the songs. So she’s just wasting that money away on cheap booze and crazy karate lessons.

So if she is one to glug before greatness, then let her be. But use this prodigious talent wisely. Get results. Work first, paaaarty later. Don’t fall on your face and drown in a pool of your own vomit. Get your bony ass moving and do amazing things. The crazy can wait. For now, have a little bit of creative flow and let things smooth out of you. Who knows, you just might enjoy it.

And you will definitely enjoy some crazy, sexy, and revealing celeb stuff here.

Pink is Bi-sexual. Also, Michael Jordan is black.

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I believe something has to qualify as news when it’s something that not a lot of people know about. Like the cause of that swine flu. Or that Oprah Winfrey carries nickels. So when pop-rock singer Alecia Moore a.k.a. Pink announces that she’s a bisexual, it kind of makes you go “And?” doesn’t it. Well, apparently to separate her Funhouse tour from Britney’s equally-themed Circus concert show, she decided to open up her fan base to lesbians. Not that they weren’t supporters to begin with. Speculation of Pink’s sexuality has been rampant since she burst through the music scene years ago as an R&B artist. Since then, her many tattoos and buff bod have been cause for wonderingment from fans and non-fans alike. Well, now she has officially come out (of the closet?) in an interview with the UK’s News Of The World paper as a bisexual.

The singer, who is currently in Europe for a series of shows tells the daily “Love is pure and I try to keep it that way. This is who I am, what I feel. I think it’s unnecessary to draw the subject out, but I think it even more stupid not to discuss it. It seems as if bisexuality is a trend and I should whip up the masses. Well, I don’t believe in trends, I just believe in me.” In the past when asked about being gay or bi or have had experience with the same sex, Pink would reply “I’m not gay so I guess I would not try a relationship with a woman.” But now she’s singing a different tune by saying “My love knows no colour, no gender, no fuss.” I guess now that she’s sold over 34 million albums worldwide, she’s more open to the idea of, well… being open. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she’s now back in the arms of her former husband Carey Hart to give her support from any probable backlash.

So I guess that’s another one for the team. Team lesbo-turned-straight-turned-bi-turned-whatever. She should just joing a singing group with Lindsay Lohan, Melanie Chisolm, and throw in Anne Heche for good measure. With all these flip-flopping celebrities no wonder the youth of the world are screrwed up. These are their role models! While the idea of bisexuality can be a turn on in your 20s, by the time you get to 30 and beyond, or hell, anytime you’re thinking about settling down at any age, being bi is just an excuse for not choosing a side. Plus there’s nothing more depressing than a 50-year-old bisexual. But since these sluts have gone and decided to play for the hetero team, I guess most of their girl-on-girl exploits are just in the domain of threesomes with their significant others. Let’s just hope those guys are smart enough to videotape these exploits for the rest of us. Kinda like all the pics and videos you’ll find here, stuff that no celeb ever wants you to see.