Paris Hilton is single again. God help us all!

What Paris Hilton wants, Paris Hilton gets. And what Paris Hilton doesn’t want, her publicist gets rid of for her. Yup, that seems to be the slutty heiress’s motto when it comes to dumping the men in her life. It’s confirmed that Paris has split-up with boyfriend/lapdog, The Hills “actor” Doug Reinhardt and she asked her publicist to do the dumping for her. Apparently Paris doesn’t like confrontations. A spokesperson from Paris’ camp told People.com, “In response to the enquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy.” So when reporters approached Doug for a comment, he idiotically said “No, that’s not true. Everything is OK between us.” I guess he doesn’t read the news. Yup, to read in the news, along with everyone else, that your relationship is over, well that’s gotta be a new low point for Paris. Just when I was starting to like her… okay that’s a lie. I never liked her.

The break-up comes as a surprise to many (including, I’m sure, to Doug himself) since for months and months while they were dating, Paris constantly barked about Doug as being the one. Talk of having kids was even thrown around. But alas, like I’ve said a million times – nothing is forever in Hollywood. No one seemed more surprised about the break-up than Doug’s co-star and one-time flame Lauren Conrad who had nothing but good things to say about Doug’s easy-going demeanor, even though that may have been the cause of the break-up. She further gushes “Doug’s pretty awesome. We dated my senior year of high school – he moved back and then it was like, ‘Oh, we’ll pick up where we left off’”. She also says that Doug is never in charge of a relationship and just likes to “have fun. That’s all that matters.”

It’s still pretty unclear what the real cause of Paris and Doug’s break-up is, but Paris is wasting no time. Yup, she’s already been seen following around futballer of the moment Christian Ronaldo, even spending a few nights together. But if you believe the incessant rumors about Christian, he probably just wants to spend the night in her shoe closet. But if it is indeed true that the two are seeing each other, that must be such a blow to Doug. I mean, come on, let the sheets cool down a bit before you invite someone new in. But then again, once a ho, always a ho. And it’s pretty hard to get back at Paris. Release nude pictures? Happened. Leak a sex video? Old news. Send her to prison? Hello!? Paris has got absolutely nothing to lose, ergo she can fuck anyone, and fuck with anyone as well. Lifestyles of the Rich and Bitchy. See more of this type of Hollywood bad behavior right here.

Paris Hilton would make an awful stripper

What would you do if you were at a swanky soiree, you sitting on an expensive white fur sofa sipping expensive champagne and nibbling on delectable hors d’Å“uvres chatting with learned guests about the works of Heidegger and the latest Buñuel exhibit at the Guggenheim while the soft gentle strains of Chet Baker fill the room, and you turn and see a skinny, skanky-looking woman with her legs up in the air straddling some guy who is basically groping her ass to keep her from falling on it. You’d be shocked, right? Now, imagine you discover the woman is walking biohazard Paris Hilton and the man is her boy-of-the-moment human peen-head Doug Reinhardt. You probably wouldn’t be so shocked. Not because she’s a “celebrity”, but because you wouldn’t expect anything less from the tabloid and blogsphere denizen.

Yes, once again the skank and the dick caused quite a stir when they went out a few nights ago and I guess since it was a pretty high-end event and smart, eloquent people were populating the party making things pretty boring for the two idiots, they got bored. So bored in fact that Paris decided to perform an impromptu lapdance for Doug, and I guess all the other people at the party. Thinking that she’s the hottest shit since Cheez Whiz she went ahead and did the full on legs in the air, gyrations, and faux-stripping. Classy. And being the lapdog that he is, Doug was more than eager to take the show in.

See, this is exactly why Paris gets thrown out of every event she attends. Just a few days ago, she was reported to have been thrown off a yacht owned by Elton John’s lover David Furnish because of tonsil hockey in front of disgusted guests. Some time back, she was banned entry into a club because of her previous hard partying. And even before that, she was asked to leave a swanky party because the host did not care for her shenanigans. Why does she even bother to leave the house in the first place? Does she actually believe in the adage “bad publicity is good publicity”? In Paris’ case, it clearly isn’t. She should’ve gotten her fill of bad press by now. But for a fame-hungry whore like her, there’s no such thing as “enough”. See more of that bad behavior from Paris and more of your favorite stars right here.

Paris Hilton VS Doug Reinhardt VS The LAPD

Paris Hilton hasn’t exactly had the best track record in relationships, or with the popo. Take for instance something that happened recently that combined the two Paris Problems into one. Apparently, Paris’ neighbors heard screaming from her house, screams that could be heard from way down the street. It sounded like Paris and her current flame Doug Reinhardt were having a very heated argument, and thinking that the neighbors were witnessing a Rihanna-Chris Brown redux decided to call the police so they could investigate. When they arrived, no one would open the gates so they had to jump the fence and make their way to the door, only to be greeted by an upset Paris and a frightened Doug (okay, so I made that last part up). Turns out, Paris had received a phone call saying that her beloved chihuahua Tinkerbell had been run over and killed, which lead to the screaming, which led to Doug screaming, which led to the neighbor’s phone call to the police, which led to here. Turned out that it was just a prank call and that Tinkerbell was really safe and sound.

Now, why would anyone wanna play a prank on Paris? She’s the sweetest, kindest, most well behaved heiress on the planet right now. So what if she goes on vacation for weeks on end and keeps her pets locked up in a closet to starve to death? So what if she can’t keep her mouth away from every 8-inch cock that makes it’s way into her mouth? So what if she regularly videotapes her sexual calisthenics and “accidentally” leaks them on the net? This is one of the most talented and beloved national treasures America has ever produced. She’s right along the lines of adored and respected individuals like George W. Bush, Anita Bryant, and Shauna Sand. She’s an amazing person and should be treated as such.

What I’m really worried about is Tinkerbell. If Paris freaks out every time the dogs goes outside for a dump away from her eyeline for about five minutes, then what chance does it have from ever escaping her evil clutches? Poor dog can’t even fake it’s own death to start a new life in sunny Mexico and re-join her chihuahua brethren. After all, any place away from the fortress of doom is better. I just have this image of Tinkerbell, doing her best human voice, dialing Paris and telling her it’s been killed, it’s Gucci and LVs packed and ready beside her. But trust Paris to freak out and ruin any chance of escape. After being witness to the horrible conditions Paris puts her pets through, Tinkerbell must have though it’s be Scot-free. Just goes to show that the only way to escape Paris is death.

See more Hollywood fuckery right here.

Paris Hilton wins a legitimate award. Also, the world ends tomorrow.

Say what you will about walking biohazard Paris Hilton, but the girl has a head for business. Not monkey business, or business of giving head. I’m talking real, money-making business. So much so that she’s getting an award for one of her many business ventures. And before you say “Vivid for her porn vid!”, no. This one is actually legit.

Before she found residence in skankville, everyone wanted a piece of Paris. So she obliged with a clothing line, a bestselling memoir, a reality TV show, and “acting” parts in some high-profile projects. But one thing that really stood the test of scandals and slip-ups and crazy famewhoring was her perfume line. Who would have thought that wanting people to smell like her would lead to such a lucrative venture. And now, the perfume organization The Fragrance Foundation, or Fifi as it’s more affectionately called, is awarding her Celebrity of the Year for her contribution to the perfume industry. She beat out J.Lo, Britney, Posh, and other female celebrities who have released their own signature celeb scents.

What a great way to lift Paris’ spirits up after all the flack she’s been getting. Truth be told, she may be an idiot, but she really doesn’t know any better. She equates fame with being alive and, well, significant. And for someone who had pretty much everything she ever wanted her entire life, fame is the one thing money can’t buy. If anything, infamy is the only thing money can buy, and she’s got that in spades. So congratulations our favorite fame whore. You beat out all those other people who would never invite you to their high-class parties (well, except maybe Britney since they’re sort of on similar fields) and would throw you out of their club or resto the moment they find out you’re there. When you get your trophy or plaque of recognition, you can slap them all in the face with it screaming “Suck it!!” and walk away laughing. Just, don’t shove it in your pussy, please? Because you’ll be right back to zero.

But if it’s celebrities sticking things in their pussy is what you’re after, as well as some other hot and private star moments, check out this place and get your fill of the latest and best Hollywood scandals.

Paris Hilton Fugly Outfit Number 2,098,344,012

Whatever possessed Paris Hilton to think that this ensemble was in any way A: Fashion-forward, B: attractive or C: made any sort of sense must be the new psychotropic drug that makes you see things in a positive light, like thinking that Dane Cook is funny, Lily Allen has a good singing voice, or Teri Hatcher looks nothing like a witch. On my end, no amount of hallucinogens in the world would make me thing positive about this ensemble.

Sure, it’s eye-catching, but for all the wrong reasons. Take a black bikini, wrap some black string around it, accessorize with ugly bondage gear, and top with a completely ridiculous pair of sunglasses that look more like the front part of a space ship than fashionable eyewear. Why, pray tell, would anyone wear such an outfit? Because she’s Paris Hilton, that’s why. She lives in her own world where everything she does is important and she is at the center of the blogsphere. And yes, that is indeed true, but again it’s for all the wrong reasons.

Maybe if she spent a bit less time focusing on her fug-ass outfits and more on shedding a lot of that skank (not to mention getting rid of a butt-load of STDs that she’s probably riddled with) then maybe she’ll regain some of that hot fuckability that we all saw the first few times she entered our collective libido radar. I myself remember her to be this absolutely gorgeous creature who was so fresh and clean. I couldn’t get enough of her. I thought someone like her – a high-class heiress who grew up surrounded  by wealth, pomp and circumstance – would be way out of my league. Never in a million years would I get to screw anyone like her. Turns out, I have a good a shot as anybody!

So, I’m gonna push the image of this outfit aside and harken back to fonder memories, like when I first saw her sex tape and nutted like 15 times. You can see all those naughty Paris pics and vids here, as well as a lot of Hollywood hotties to fulfill your fantasies.

Paris Hilton continues to be classy

Whenever Paris Hilton hits the town, you know something terrible is gonna happen. America’s favorite skank went out with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt and on the way home decided to give the paps something to snap. Yes, you guessed it – she flashed her panties.

Walking down the stairs of restaurant My House, Paris thought it the perfect opportunity for some panty flashing. Spotting the photogs at the foot of the stairs probably made her think “Great, paparazzi! Too bad I’m wearing panties tonight. Oh, well, gotta stay in the headline…” and bam, there we have it.

And if that wasn’t enough, in the car drive home, Paris and Doug decided to do a little tongue hockey for all to see. She must’ve thought she had to do something to make for her wearing panties. So a little tongue action for the photogs oughtta do it. I wonder if she talked to Doug about it before hand – the exact amount of tongue to show, angles for the most effective view, the wideness of the mouth – that sort of stuff. I’m fairly certain that Paris thinks about this stuff and plans this in advance. Any mediawhore worth her salt would do the exact thing.

So it never fails to amaze me when stuff like this happens to Paris. Not because I’m shocked when it does, but rather that it gets reported everytime. Here is a woman who practically has the entire media blogsphere in the palm of her hands, and we play right into them. That’s it. This is the last Paris Hilton blog entry I will ever write. That is… until she does some other thing that’ll make me go OMG! Just like the stuff you’ll find over here — celebs at their most OMG.

Katy Perry Kissing Guys Again!

It seems like Katy Perry’s little lezzie phase is finally over! After jumping out of a sparkly banana at the Grammys, she was a bit quiet in the days that followed, releasing the 3rd video from her album One Of The Boys for the song Thinking Of You. She seemed to have been on the path to normalcy, even thinking about her second album. But this past Valentine’s Day, Katy’s creating headlines again with talk of canoodling with one of Tinseltown’s notorious bad boys – Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden.

Yes, that Benji Madden. As in Paris Hilton’s ex. As in Nicole Ritchie’s future brother-in-law. The same dude who has practically slept with every Hollywood ingenue who’s dumb enough to suck his rod. And now, his latest victim is Grammy nominee Katy Perry.

I really don’t know if that’s a step up for him from Paris. Many of you would agree with me with that assesment, but let me state the facts: Katy Perry – former Christian pop singer who rebelled against her religious upbringing to burst into the music scene with her sexually suggestive songs about thinking of another guy while fucking someone else and playing tonsil hockey with her fellow females. Paris Hilton – multi-million dollar heiress who burst into the scene by being, well, her, admired by many, then was later revealed to be a major skank who would fuck anyone with a dick as long as a camera was pointed at her.

Hmm… tough call. Sad too, since I was beginning to like Katy. She’s slowly getting a bit of respect in the music biz after proving she wasn’t just a novelty act. She even appears somewhat classy and cleaned up in public appearances. Her plunging gown at the Grammys showed off her massive boobage but in a tasteful way. And now I find out, she’s canoodling with some dude who would most probably give her gonorrhea. Tsk, tsk. Well, at least maybe this’ll be fodder for her next brand new single – “I Sucked A Dick (And I Got VD)”. I can practically smell the awards coming!

Speaking of coming, if Katy makes you wanna do just that, check this out and see some pretty interesting bad-girl behavior from Katy and other hot celebs.

Paris Hilton’s Movie – Not So Good

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Paris Hilton’s movie The Hottie and The Nottie completely tanked this weekend. To be honest, I’m surprised it made more than $1.50. But, I’m no box office analyst. Fortunately the folks at Fantasy Moguls are and, like my fifth grade girlfriend, did the math for me:

The final count will show that the critically reviled comedy featuring the seemingly talentless Hilton has sold a meager $25,500 in tickets at 111 locations over the weekend. That’s only $230 per screen for theaters that were convinced to book this disaster. That means that, based on an $8 average ticket price, 29 paying customers showed up at each location over the 3-day.

Grandpa Hilton donates 97% of his wealth to charity

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Barron Hilton (Paris and Nicky’s grandfather) has donated 97% of wealth to charity according to the NY Daily News.

 

That means granddaughter Paris Hilton, who once stood to inherit $100 million or more by some accounts, could end up with a measly $5 million or so.

“The whole family will be devastated, particularly [Paris' mom] Kathy,” a pal of the clan told the Daily News last night.

“Some of them could be likely to contest the will – it’ll be in the courts longer than Anna Nicole Smith versus J. Howard Marshall.”

Barron Hilton is worth an estimated $2.3 billion, including the $1.2 billion he made from the sale of the Hilton Hotels and Harrah’s casino chains.

All but 3% of the money will go into a charitable trust to benefit the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, which was started by his father, the foundation announced yesterday.

The foundation funds clean water in Africa, education for blind children and housing for the mentally ill.