She’s been goading the Catholic church for quite some time now with her sexually suggestive songs about religion and Catholicism and her constant use of church imagery in her looks and music videos. She single-handedly made the rosary into a fashion accessory that is still all the rage to this day. But Madonna dating a man over half her age named Jesus was kinda pushing it a bit. And now, the material girl known for getting what she wants wants to marry the Brazilian model, and they just might go through with it.

Jesus’ own father (would that be God then) has confirmed that the two will indeed tie the knot sometime soon. But Madonna insists to go with a Kabbalah ceremony which may not actually be legally binding. Says the father “I don’t know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity,” So I suppose that takes care of the question of exactly how much Jesus is getting paid to be Madonna’s butt boy. Since it’s not gonna be a recognized ceremony by law, all of Madge’s millions will stay with her after she gets tired of this year’s model.

Despite the age gap (or perhaps because of it), Madonna intends on making this family official because of Jesus’ fondness and closeness with Madonna’s kids – Lourdes, 13, Rocco, 9 and David Banda, 4.  At a mere 22 years of age, he could very well be their big brother, not fucking their mom/being their stepdad. My mind instantly wanders to sick and twisted territory as I feel some kind of sordid affair between Jesus and sexually burgeoning Lourdes might come about. Jesus looks like the kind of skanky type that might just do that.

But when all is said and done, after the english speaking lessons and the trophy boyfriending, Madonna has made quite an investment in Jesus and it looks like she’s not planning on letting her hooks free of him anytime soon. With Madge’s penchant for youth-obsessing (the only way she can stay relevant over 50), this latest attempt at trying to be younger just looks like a desperate move on her part. And to think we thought Madge was on her way to being a serious person. Moving to London, getting a fake British accent, writing children’s books. Then she went all skany again with this whole deal. One thing’s for sure – Madonna definitely has some buzz still left in her. Check out all the Madonna insanity right here.