You see them hanging on the wall of practically every mechanic’s garage (or so the movies have made us believe). They’re usually grease-covered and a couple of years old. And they almost always look cheap, featuring big-boobed models named Amber, or Tiffany, if they have names at all. I am talking about every sexually potent straight man’s best friend – the naked calendar. For 365 days they give us pleasure beyond our wildest dreams. Yet they have always been the subject of ridicule and disgust by most moral (read: prudes) and conservative (read: ugly) people who view it as exploitation and sexualization of the human body. For the past sixty odd years, one company’s calendar has been trying to change the idea of the nude calendar, and it must be working because not only has Oscar winners, athletes, and acclaimed models dropped trou for this calendar, but it has also become one of the most acclaimed and most-awaited collection of images that celebrate the beauty of the female form. I am talking about The Pirelli Calendar.

For the past years, everyone from Sienna Miller to Sofia Loren to supermodels Kate Moss and Alessandra Ambrosio have been featured. For next year’s salvo, they will feature a bevy of hot supermodel babes including (but not limited to) Ana Beatriz Barros, Rosie Huntington-Whitley, and Miranda Kerr. Yes, the celebrated models of today will be going topless for photographer Terry Richardson who is now my God. Any man who can convince women as hot as these to bear their tits for him has most definitely got the golden touch (imagine how he is at bars!) They’ve already begun shooting the nude and topless calendar photos with a sort of a jungle theme, complete with reptiles, primates, and bugs. So not only will these women be naked, they’ll have an assortment of creatures splayed all over their bodies while frolicking in the jungle. God, I hope they brought some neo-sporen.

So expect the calendar to be out some time in October, or maybe even earlier – just in time for your Christmas shopping. I for one wouldn’t mind seeing naked Miranda, Ana, and Rosie stuffed in my stocking. Expect it to be chock full of boobies, butts and babes. Not bad for a company that began selling tires. Definitely something I would never expect from a company like that. And with it’s reputation for calendars with artistic nudes, along with it’s illustrious history, it apparently is an honor to be picked to appear in the calendar since the talent behind the pics is renowned. Everyone from Anni Liebowitz to Bruce Webber has photographed for the calendar. Me personally, I could give a shit about the artsy side of it. Bring on the supermodel boobies! Just like the ones you’ll find right here.