Category Archives: Mean Girls

Lindsay Lohan can’t keep her hands off Samantha Ronson

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It seems like part-time lesbian Lindsay Lohan is not really over her little “phase” because she’s been hopping all over London following ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson around like a lovesick puppy (or an irritating gnat – whichever you prefer) asking, begging even, for her to lick her cunt once again. Methinks no man has ever made her cum as loud as she has with the magic carpet-munching abilities of SamRo. So she’s doing the age-old tactic that has worked for so many men in the past like Bundy, Gacey, and Dahmer – stalking! In one night, Lindsay went to two clubs and several after-hours just tailing Samantha and her brother, DJ Mark Ronson, while keeping a little distance but clearly shadowing their every move. And SamRo is more than a little ticked off.

Since their break-up almost two months ago, LiLo and SamRo have been having a difficult time ending things officially. Lindsay has been frequently photographed leaving Sam’s house in the wee hours of the morning – clearly spending the previous night there – which leads people to believe there’s still something going on between them. Then there’s the feeble attempts at making Sam jealous by hooking up with man after man after man – hoping the paparazzi would publish photos and bloggers would write about her heterosexual exploits making Sam jealous. But even with those stunts, Samantha has stood her ground and denied her, saying the paparazzi pressure and LiLo’s wild child behavior is just way too much for her. But like any loyal dog that loves it’s master, Sam still accommodates Lindsay’s reconciliatory attempts.

So, what’s the two to do now? If Samantha is solid in her statement about not wanting Lindsay back, then this just makes LiLo a cheap, desperate, vagina-loving whore who can’t take no for an answer. But if LiLo is getting a vibe that Sam still wants to tap that but feigns interest, then that makes Samantha a cold-hearted lesbian bitch. If you ask me, these two deserve each other. The Fauxmosexual and the Dyke. Sounds like a Showtime series waiting to happen. If TLC ever gets tired of that Jon & Kate shit, there’s a goldmine waiting in the snatches of these two. Better sign them up before someone else does. See more of this crazy duo and other hot Hollywood celebs right here.

The Curious Case of Linsday Lohan’s Arrest Warrant

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Lindsay Lohan is a wanted woman. And not in a good way. I’m talking in a legal, cops-and-robbers, high-speed-chase-down-Sunset-Boulevard, throw-you-in-the-slammer-and-get-anally-raped-with-a-toilet-bowl-cleaner kinda way. Well, maybe not that extreme, but you get the point.

It all started with a little ity-bitty indident called a DUI arrest 2 years ago. And in celeb land, the law always moves so slowly since stars are always too busy making movies, starring in TV shows, walking the catwalk, or releasing CDs. Strangely enough, LiLo hasn’t done any of that since her arrest and yet it took that long for the case to get followed up.

And what exactly is the case? Well, according to reports, Lindsay was supposed to be enrolled in an alcohol and drug rehab program as part of her probation (that’s legalese for “Shut up bitch and do as you’re told”) but hasn’t been fulfilling her end of the bargain since practically every week we see paparazzi pictures of her drunk, wasted, coked out, or just plain out of it. So now, she’s been subpoenaed to show up at court and make her case. Something that LiLo has no intention of doing!

What is it with celebs that they think they can do whatever they want and not suffer the consequences? If I were Lindsay, I would take this opportunity to finally get my shit together. I mean, come on! Drew Barrymore had it worse than her and she’s fine now. What’s stopping her from doing the same? The constant media pressure? Here’s a tip: stop doing crazy shit so people won’t have anything bad to write about you. Your failing career? You can always do a sequel to Mean Girls. It’s not rocket science – the basics of career rehab. But first you gotta go to real rehab first. And don’t say no, no, no. You’re not in a position to making any decisions right now.

So, that’s my two cents worth on this whole Lindsay Lohan thing. Let’s just hope this whole thing gets sorted out so we can go back to admiring your huge rack and porn star mouth. You’re so much sexier without the crazy. We can go back to jacking off to your hotness, like the hotness we can find right here.