Category Archives: lesbian

Lindsay Lohan is a dirty girl

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Lindsay Lohan has had it tough. Actually, to say that would be a total understatement, wouldn’t it? Broke, dumped, washed-up, addicted… all the bad things that could happen to a Hollywood celebrity happened to her. And since she started out as a child performer, it happened to her way too soon. Blame the media if you will, but many child actors have turned out okay as grown-ups. It seems that those Hollywood horror stories about young actors in a downward spiral now has a face. Look up the phrase “Hollywood Casualty” in the encyclopedia and you’d likely see a picture of Lindsay right beside the entry. And now, to add another punchline to the joke that has become her life, LiLo has a new nickname – Dirty Girl. And we’re not just talking about her bout of snatch-eating or her embarrassing post drink binge walk to her car, I’m talking about real dirt and grime and mess in the place where she lives. Here’s the lowdown:

Police responded to a burglar alert at the Hollywood home of Lindsay, but when they got there there were no perps in sight. After the popo entered the premises, they saw the whole place was in disarray. The cops suspected the burglars were responsible for the mess, but upon further investigation discovered the mess to be not so recent. Basically the apartment has been like that for quite some time now. Which only means one thing – Lindsay likes to roll around in her own filth. You know, the way pigs do. Or hermits. After all, she’s too coked up out of her mind to, well, mind the mess around her. She probably enjoys frolicking with the dust bunnies, playing tag with the cockroaches, and constantly puts out food for the rats that infest her pad. After all, them outcasts need to stick together.

Meanwhile, Lindsay is doing her best to get back on the A-list horse by doing a small independent feature that may or may not require her to get naked. She’s set to star in the film The Other Side with fellow z-listers Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, and rock singers Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette. I know, this has got to be the strangest acting line-up in a movie ever. All that’s missing is Ed Asner and Joan Severance and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster. Expect this movie to hit big screens in 2010, or if it’ll succumb to the same fate as LiLo last movie Labor Pains, it’ll go straight to TV. I’m sure the Syfy channel will be very interested. And if you’re interested in seeing more of Lindsay and her many celeb blunders, head on over here.

Lindsay Lohan looks like a crack whore. So what else is new?

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I almost went an entire week without posting a blog entry about car wreck and reformed vag licker Lindsay Lohan, but when I came across these photos of her taken some time last week, I just felt compelled to say something about them. The fiery redhead looks downright skanky in these photos and it doesn’t help that her eyes looked coked out of their skull. The skinny bod, the cheap-looking dress, the heavy eyelids – tell me this doesn’t look like the beginning of a really horrible gang bang scene in a cheaply-produced porno flick. And while the elegant-looking hotel room is supposed to add a hint of elegance and class, the way she stands and poses for these pics make her just look like a high-class hooker visiting the hotel room of a group of Japanese businessmen waiting to ravage her in every orifice. And I’m pretty sure she’s fine with being paid in cocaine.

So far it hasn’t been a good week for Lindsay. Just yesterday she was spotted leaving ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson’s house at around 6:30 in the morning where she presumably spent the night. She was seen carrying a large purse and some clothes before jumping straight into her waiting car. I’m guessing this is what is known as The Walk of Shame – the I-can’t-believe-I-just-did-that strut after a one night stand that I’m fairly sure we’ve all done at least once in our lives. I would like to believe that this is their once and for all Final Fuck. You know, that one last sexual encounter after you’ve broken up to sort of seal the deal. Some people do it, some don’t, but this is usually indicative of a great sex life with your ex that you have to give in one last time. So in this case, I don’t know which of them is the better cunt licker. Who asked for what first? Only these two know the answer to that, and they’re not talking.

So all in all it’s been a pretty eventful week for Lindsay. Got gangbanged in a really expensive hotel room by a bunch of Japanese businessmen, and then going back to the bush for one last night with ex lady friend Samantha Ronson. Of course, this is all just conjecture. We will never know what happened for sure, we can only imagine. But there lies the fun, right? She gives us so much fodder for our made-up stories that it’s almost like she knows exactly what people will be talking about before she gets into another photo op. I don’t wanna give her that much credit, but if that happens to be true, this girl is fucking brilliant. That means she’s got all of us on her puppet strings and we are helpless under her command. Fine by me. At least I’m entertaining myself. And I do hope you are too. But if you want more than conjecture, drop by this place and see the real side of Hollywood – all the embarrassing and gritty details the stars don’t want you to know.

Lindsay Lohan to spend the rest of her life in a bikini

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When you’re a celebrity and your career is in the crapper, there are certain things you can do to still try and keep yourself in the public eye. One, do an low-budget movie where you play either a lesbian or a drug addict or a serial killer (or a combination of those – drug-addicted serial killing lesbian) where you constantly take your clothes off “for art’s sake”. Another thing you can do is write a tell-all memoir where you dish on every celeb secret you know for the sake of your Hollywood friendships. Then there’s the go-crazy-shave-your-head-cry-in-front-of-your-house-while-the-paparazzi-snap-away tactic that was perfected by a certain pop singer. If none of those options seem at all appealing to you, then do what Lindsay Lohan did this past week. Get photographed in nothing else but a bikini.

Yup, the anorexic, seemingly former lesbian is currently vacationing in Maui where she and her family with her are literally stalked by the paps. And not wanting to disappoint, Lindsay is always rocking the bikini. First, she came out to a park where she caught some sun in a white swimsuit. Then she went on to do some city strolling in a black bikini bottom and some kind of top. Then she hit some falls in a black two piece string number. All the while the photogs are just following her every move and capturing every moment for the press. Which we, as celeb-crazy people lap up.

Now, first of all, despite the fact that she’s Lindsay Lohan and can pretty much do whatever the fuck she wants, I don’t think that with her current bony-bod state that she should be walking around in a bikini 24/7. She could seriously hurt someone with that bony frame. She could impale someone while kneeing them in the groin. She could stab someone else with those bony elbows. If anything, she should be as padded and protected as possible when she goes out in the world. Because with all her legal troubles, I don’t think she should add manslaughter to her growng number of police cases. But as is the point of this entry, photos of Lindsay not wearing a bikini are nowhere to be seen. Funny that huh? So I guess she finally figured out how to stay relevant without pesky film projects or recording deals or modeling gigs – just go out in a bikini and wait. Soon, the talk will come flitting in after. But if you wanna see more than just talk but actual action, head on over to this site and get an eyefull of Hollywood scandals.

Lindsay Lohan is done with pussy and now prefers cock

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Turning her rail-thin back on carpet-munching forever (it seems), Lindsay Lohan spent a wild and crazy night with a bunch of dudes proving once and again that you can’t put a horny slut down. Yup, she was seen partying hard with a bunch of dudes and is now jumping from man to man hoping to score that one who would not only make her get her shit together, but give her the much-needed protein shake that she’s been missing all this time dating Samantha Ronson. Maybe now that she’s got a regular supply of sperm, she’ll get back a few pounds and not make her look like a concentration camp survivor.

Yup, she was seen recently looking as thin as usual and it’s only getting worse. And by worse I mean her boobs are finally feeling the burn. Known for her massive jugs, Lindsay has built a career out of them. And with the rumors of anorexia swirling around her, her breasts seemed to be unaffected. But lately her boobies have flattened out like someone let the air out of them, sagging down to her bellybutton it seems. Which is bad news for LiLo and her supposed foray into live, on-stage stripping. Who would want to pay good money to got a fancy Las Vegas hotel and watch some crack-addicted starlet bare her flat titties on stage. No one, that’s who. So hopefully she gets those babies back on track before they hit her knees.

And so, what can we expect out of our dear Miss Lohan now that she’s back on the straight and narrow (but for her hopefully curved and thick)? Maybe we’ll see her a bit happier from now on, a bit more satisfied. After all, it takes you missing something to know that’s what you really want. So this time away from the peen would help her re-evaluate her career, life plan, and spirituality. See, all the men of the world are right – the penis is a wonderful thing. And now that Lindsay is back on it, the world will be a much better place because of it. As wonderful as the wild and crazy celebs that you’ll find right here.

Lindsay Lohan may finally show her titties. Live!

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Even though we’ve pretty much seen her tits with her numerous nipslips and see-throughs, Lindsay Lohan may finally do the thing that all down-and-out, still-struggling-to-hold-on-to-their-career, desperate-to-still-be-relevant actress do: go topless. Because of her financial and celebrity troubles (and the fact that no film studio will touch her with a ten foot pole) LiLo might do a little bit of on-stage stripping to make ends meet. Sounds like the plot to some shitty movie where we’re supposed to feel sorry for strippers, right? Sure it does, but in this case it’s real. And it’s with Lindsey. Which, to be perfectly honest, is actually sadder.

But not to worry. We’re not talking about some skany Vegas strip joint with a bouncer named Bubba and strippers named Candi, Tiffani, Amber, and the like. We’re talking about the huge Vegas extravaganza called Peepshow currently starring General Hospital actress Kelly Monaco and Spice Girl Melanie B that had a splashy, star-studded opening recently. LiLo attended one of the performances and supposedly liked what she saw. And I’m not talking about the topless dancers, as she may or may not have turned her back on carpet-munching. She liked the performance so much that she supposedly talked with one of the producers of the show about possibly joining them on their next run.

Wow, first rumors of porn, and now a topless Vegas strip show? Lindsay is really at the end of her rapidly fraying rope. Two things concern me now. One: she should have done this years ago, when her jugs were still pert and bouncy, instead of saggy and limp like they are now. Two: how low has your career gone when the only job you can get is replacing Kelly Monaco or Mel B? Sad sad state of affairs indeed. But, at least for all of you horny young men out there (this guy included), the sight of live Lindsay boobage is something I would definitely pay good money to see. But while waiting for that to may or may not happen, see some other LiLo boobage and other hot Hollywood racks and asses right here.

Tila Tequila continues to be an attention whore

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When you go out for a night on the town, one usually dresses to the nines. But when you’re fame-hungry, talentless, and skanky Tila Tequila, that means the exact opposite. You dress down. Really down. To your underwear.

Yes, you heard me right. The plastic boobed one (or rather, two since there are two of them) thought to herself “Hey, it’s been a while since those bored bloggers with nothing better to do than to follow the exploits of famous people like me has written anything about me in their blogs. I know! I’ll step out tonight, wearing a sexy black blazer, and then as the paparazzi descends — surprise! I’m not wearing a dress! It’s perfect!! They’re gonna have a field day tearing me apart for this publicity stunt!”

And sad to say, she’s right.

What can I do but react? Granted she’s hot. However fake those tits are, they’re still attached to an awesome hard body. Plus she’s so tiny you could spin her around while she’s on top of you. Then there’s also the whole lesbian thing which just fucking gets me hard. How can you not react to someone like her, no matter how blatantly obvious her attention-whoring is.

So for now, I won’t say anything else that hasn’t already been said about these pics. I’m sure you’ve heard a million little quips about her, so I won’t even bother making one here. I’ll just take these pics and file them with the hundred others of Tila that just add to her being one of the most embarassing yet totally fuckable celebs this side of the Z-list. You can see those pics, along with a bunch of others, over here.

Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen collaborating on music together

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Is this another signal of the impending apocalypse? Maybe so, but at least we’ll have one more thing to mock while the world goes down in flames. Paparazzi and blogsphere favorites Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen have been spending a lot of time together — getting tattoos, hanging out — and now all that shared air seems to have given them the supposedly brilliant idea for the two of them to make an album together.

Okay, let me get this straight. Two girls who can barely sing will attempt to do just that, combine their voices together, record it, and release it into the world? Wouldn’t it be easier for them to just develop a bio-terror weapon to destroy the world with? They can get vagina juice from Paris Hilton for just that. To consciously create something that will seriously damage the health and well-being of the world’s population is clearly a violation of the Geneva Act or something, isn’t it? I seriously don’t know what possessed these two twits to come up with such an idea. A few hit singles and they automatically think they can provide endless auditory pleasure.

I have a better idea for the two of them to collaborate on. They should just do a lesbo porn movie together. Really. They should cast some really hot babes in it, and take turns sticking stuff in each other’s pussies. Bananas. Eggplants. The DVD  of I Know Who Killed Me. I even have the perfect title for it. L3: Lindsay, Lily, Lesbians. Vivid can finance it. Rosie O’Donnel can direct. I smell a hit! None of these aspirations of being taken seriously as a musician. They should just make money out of what they do on a regular basis anyway – exposing themselves!

You don’t believe me? Just head on over here and see all the crazy “accidental” exposures these two have gone through.

Lindsay Lohan Finally Eats!

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Walking corpse Lindsay Lohan was spotted carrying a couple of boxes of pizza which leads many to believe that she’s finally doing something to rehabilitate her decimated figure. But judging by these photos — the sunken cheeks, the baggy clothes — it looks like it might be just a little too late.

Lindsay already looks sick. When she smiles, she actually looks frightening instead of endearing. The light that always seemed to be so infectious about her has just disappeared completely. One will always wonder if she’ll ever get it back.

It would be so easy to blame all of this on this carpet-munching “phase” people believe her to be going through. But lest we forget, her career was already on shaky ground pre-Samantha. Flop after flop she just hasn’t gotten a good movie role since her Mean Girls days. And now it looks like if she doesn’t shape up, she might end up delivering pizzas instead of ordering them!

I can see it now: you call your favorite pizza place, make an order, 20 minutes later Lindsay Lohan is at your doorstep, delivering your pizza. Would you feel bad for her? Would you invite her in, share a slice with her? Or would you just point and laugh? Either way, it would be a complete shock if she ends up as one of those “Where Are They Now…” anecdotes in entertainment news shows.

Well, I’m sure when that happens, we’ll be the first to hear about it, including all of the scandalous happenings of this wild child. To see all the craziness, head on over here and get more of your Lindsay fix.