One is the barrier-breaking lesbian lead singer of popular rock band The Gossip, the other is record-breaking faux-lesbian pop singer who had a huge hit about kissing women. One is super hot sexy, the other… well, let’s just say she’s somewhat horizontally challenged. Get ready for the battle of the century as “I Kissed A Girl” singer Katy Perry and The Gossip lead singer Beth Ditto are in a word war over lesbianism, pop music, and all-around artistic packaging. It all began when Beth, in an interview with Attitude magazine said “I hate Katy Perry! She’s offensive to gay culture, I’m so offended. She’s just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all.” She calls Perry a “boner dyke” which is basically a straight woman playing carpet-muncher to give guys a woody. And the hardcore lesbo is none too happy about it.

When word reached Katy about Beth’s scathing comments, she had this to say: “I heard that she said something about me. I don’t want to get into a slanging war with anybody, so I don’t want to say anything bad about her. But I’m not impressed. I’ve learned in the past year that one artist should never insult another artist’s music — it’s tacky. And with me, it always comes back to bite me on the arse!” So obviously Katy doesn’t want to get into any kind of feud with the singer for fear of having her get sat on. Or something like that. But like Katy said (and I agree to some degree), it’s tacky to call someone out on their art without looking at the context. If Beth should be mad at anyone, it should be washed-up pop singer Cathy Dennis who actually wrote the song. We don’t hear her saying anything bad about that redhead.

So, bottom line, I think Beth just wants to get into Katy’s pants. Yes, she is after all a vadge-licker. Who wouldn’t want to get a piece of Katy? All that pent up sexual tension has to be released somehow and the best way for that is through some hardcore humping. Although, to be perfectly honest, I would lose whatever respect I have left for Katy if she went ahead and tapped that. I mean, the image… I’m not being sizeist, but lets call a spade a spade. But if Katy did, she should write a song about it and call it “I Porked a Pork and I Loathed It”. I see dollar signs already. See a lot more of your favorite celebrities right here.