Category Archives: john mayer

Jennifer Aniston is starting to get desperate

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It’s been a while since Jennifer Aniston’s twat has been sprinkled with semen and so it seems that now she’s desperate enough to get some peen, even that of Twitter-lover, ex-boyfriend John Mayer. Yup, after rumors of trying to get back together with ex-husband Brad Pitt, and midnight hook-ups with 300 star Gerard Butler, Jen is getting tired of the single life and would just like a quick fuck. So I guess she ain’t getting none from the two other dudes and she’ll just have to settle for limp-dicked “musician” John who she’s supposedly been texting and calling while drunk on her ass. Reports say that while filming her new shitty comedy The Baster, Jennifer has gotten lonelier and sadder, prompting the drunk-dialing that occurs. And while Gerard is off slaughtering people in his new movie and Brad has Angelina’s hawkeye on him all the time, the only guy that’s available to her is poor little mankini-wearing John. Yes, the guy that dumped her over Twitter. That John Mayer.

Is this what the world is coming to? What does it mean for the rest of us when a semi-attractive single 40-year old woman with a vibrant career and a desire to stay relevant despite her old age has to stoop down to get some peen? It seems like we’re not the only ones disgusted by this behavior. Jen’s loyal friend from Friends Courteney Cox-Arquette has hit her over the head since finding out about Jen’s late-night desperation. Courteney and John never got along when Jen and John were still dating and gave a blood offering to the gods when the two finally broke up. And now, Jennifer has the gall to say something like “I act from the heart, and if I lose some friends for wanting to get with John, then so be it.” Okay, bitch needs to listen to her sensible cougar friend and get a major reality check. Short-term hook-ups with major douchebags will go nowhere. Jen should take a cue from Courteney and grow up, act her age (no more of these playing starry-eyed twentysomethings looking for love in the big city crap), and get serious.

If Jen is so hungry for some cock, she should just go out and hire a stripper, or call boy. Or, heck any one of those vibrant young up-and-coming actors who are dying to get some ancient vadge would even do. Just put down the phone and step away from the Mayer. The last thing Jen wants to do is get a helping of a Mayer weiner, because she’ll be right back where she started. She’s already gotten a bit of respect for dumping that twat, she shouldn’t turn back now. Who knows Jen, you’re final fuck with John might end up on Twitter. Then you’ll be in deep shit. See more of your favorite stars get into some deep shit right here.

Jennifer Aniston wants herself some 300 man-lovin’

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Ever since getting dumped by Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston has been jumping from bad relationship to bad relationship. I call it the Sienna Miller syndrome – broken by a man then becoming a whore with zero morals and a fucked-up romantic life. Getting dumped for tinsel town’s hottest slut is sure to screw with anyone’s ego, therefore making them do things no normal woman would do. That’s exactly what’s been happening to Jen who can’t seem to keep her man. And now, it looks like the former Friends star has got a new man in her cross hairs. None other than 300 dude Gerard Butler. So for this edition of Celebs Hunter blog, let’s examine the many ways Jennifer Aniston has gone wrong with the men in her life since Brad.

Vince Vaughn: He was the first guy Jen hooked up with post-Brad. They met on the set of their movie The Break Up and sparked a romance. Vince has been a known player, being linked to several starlets, but Jen was looking for something to take her mind off her messy divorce and the two landed in each other’s arms. But joy didn’t last long fro the two and they broke up for undisclosed reasons.

John Mayer: After trying the single life for a while, Jen rebounded with the pop singer. From the get-go it seemed it was an unusual match. Jen was this actress who was serious about becoming a major movie star, while John was just… well, lets just say that the only relationship John Mayer can have with anyone is with himself. But again, Jen ignored the signs and naysayers and went ahead with the relationship only to have it implode because of a third-party: TWITTER.

And now Gerard Butler: The manly action star of 300, Rock N Rolla, and others. But despite his macho image, he has been inundated with rumors of homosexuality. But again, Jen doesn’t seem to mind those rumors (no matter how insistent they are) and is looking to go ahead with the romance. I have this feeling that this will all end badly for Jen when his gay sex tape comes out in the middle of their relationship and she will again find herself brokenhearted and confused.

So what’s an aging 40-year-old actress who’s film career is hanging by a thread going to do? I have one word of suggestion: Lesbianism! Worked for Lindsay Lohan. Oh, wait… Still, she should be willing to give it a try. This whole straight thing ain’t working for her so there’s that alternative. And it’ll give her a bit more edge when she does it. And let’s all hope a lezzie sex tape will emerge from that.

It’s sex tapes and other Hollywood shame you can find here, all for you to discover.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are over. Again. Maybe…

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These Hollywood couples are just dropping like flies. Although, I have to admit that whenever Jennifer Aniston is mentioned, I’m not surprised to hear about a break-up. After having her heart crushed into a million little pieces when Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie, Jen has pretty much left a trail of man carnage ever since, jumping from man to man and never having any lasting relationship. So it comes as no shock that she and her latest manwhore John Mayer have been rumored to have broken up finally.

I say finally because rumor is this isn’t the first time these two have ended their relationship. Though I don’t know the specifics of previous alleged breakups since they were never really reported in the media, I have a pretty good idea of the things these two fight about. Hair products. Diet regimens. The fact that’s he’s dating a grandma. Little things that almost always cause a snag in any relationship.

Rumor is he broke up with her. Though neither of their “reps” are talking right now, it’s speculated that it happened after Jen’s European tour promoting Marley & Me.

If you ask me, they shouldn’t break up. There, I’m taking a stand. I say that because they have so much in common. They’re both irritating. They both suck at what they do. And they both have this misconception that they’re funny. Just because you were on a hit TV sitcom for 10 years where every brilliant quip was written for her doesn’t make you a funny person. And neither is having so much free time to make video blogs and invite all of your cool celeb friends and pollute the internet with your trash because you’re too lazy to make your crap music.

I really hope that this rumor isn’t true. Only for the reason that these two should not be allowed back into the dating world. Who knows how many people they’ll inflict their own brand of crazy on. So best of luck to the not-so-happy couple. Work it out ya crazy kids!

And speaking of crazy, take a look over here and see more crazy Hollywood happenings.

Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston at the Oscars: AWKWARD!!!

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One’s an A-list Academy Award winning actress who’s bad-girl behavior has been fodder for tabloids and celeb bloggers; the other’s a former TV star who’s transition into major-movie star has been rife with drama and disappointment. Two girls with seemingly nothing in common besides the business they both work in and yet, they have another thing in common: Brad Pitt.

Yes, I’m talking about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. By now, you know the story. I don’t need to repeat it here. For the longest time since the “incident” the two have been avoiding each other like the plague, Angelina doing her best impression of a happy homemaker by snatching up properties all over the world and adopting practically anything that needs a mother, and Aniston doing her best to achieve box-office recognition while jumping from man to man until finally settling on musical douche John Mayer. In a world where two people that have no reason to come across one another, fate will always find a way to do just that. And that’s exactly what happened at Sunday’s Oscars.

Sure, Jennifer avoided the red carpet opting instead to go through the back door — no doubt a smart move else she’d be answering two million different versions of the question “How do you feel about Brad and Angelina being here?”. She probably just thought she’d do her spiel and leave and that would be it. Well, I am here to tell you…

That’s exactly what happened.

Yes, that’s right. A perfect time for one of the sexiest catfights of all time, one that will be talked about at water coolers and lunch breaks for eternity, was ruined by just plain politeness and avoidance. The two shared the same air for like a brief instance when Jen was on stage and Brad and Angie were in the audience not ten feet away. But aside from a few awkwardly random cutaway shots to Angie during Jen’s shtick, nothing really happened. I was expecting jello-flinging at the very least! Okay, maybe a raised eyebrow or two, but even that was withheld. Damn these dainty Hollywood actresses!

I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til Jen and Angie do an updated version of Whatever Happened To Baby Jane to wait for them to duke it out. Meanwhile, check out some other bad behaivior from Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie over on this site if, like me, you feel cheated out of a prime girlfight opportunity.