Celebrity Poser

You know what people say. A marriage created from a broken-up one is doomed to fail. Or something like that. Okay, nobody ever said that before me, but you gotta admit that that’s what Jennifer Aniston is saying if the rumors about the supposed break-up of Hollywood power couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are true. If you’re in LA and see a skinny faux-blonde woman with a big nose dancing down the street doing the I-Told-You-So dance, it’s probably Jen celebrating. But I digress. After years of being together and surviving every disparaging remark thrown their way, after all the rumors, the scandals, and the near-break ups, it seems the two are officially headed for splitsville. How do I know this? Well, I read it in the Enquirer, so it must be true.

According to the rag, a source has confirmed that it is indeed “official” that the two will be separating ways. The Enquirer reports that after Angelina has finished filming her actioneer Salt, she’ll be packing up and moving the kids to Paris where she plans to recuperate from this tragedy. Or something to that effect. The news seems surprising especially since the couple were seen very sweet and, well, together when Brad’s film Inglorious Basterds premiered in Cannes last month. Supposedly, it was all an act, that the couple had already agreed to split even before Cannes. They were merely trying to prevent the story from getting out, but word got out anyway. Enquirer refuses to name their source for fear of, well, getting that person fired or worse. So right now, unless Bradgelina make an official statement, I’m inclined to believe that tabloid.

Then again, the paper isn’t exactly the most credible source of information. I don’t know what to think right now. On one hand, there have been persistent rumors about their break-up for a while so there has to be a grain of truth about this all. On the other, This is Bradgelina were talking about. The couple who went against all the odds to get together and, more importantly, stay together. Plus I don’t think there are any two more stubborn people in Hollywood, ergo they will do their best to make things work. But if they don’t, expect Brad to get a visit from Jennifer in crotchless panties sometime soon. And Ange? Well, let’s just say a horse head in her bed should be the least of her worries. Ah, Hollywood. One crazy town where crazy things happen. See a lot of those crazy things here.

Ever since getting dumped by Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston has been jumping from bad relationship to bad relationship. I call it the Sienna Miller syndrome - broken by a man then becoming a whore with zero morals and a fucked-up romantic life. Getting dumped for tinsel town’s hottest slut is sure to screw with anyone’s ego, therefore making them do things no normal woman would do. That’s exactly what’s been happening to Jen who can’t seem to keep her man. And now, it looks like the former Friends star has got a new man in her cross hairs. None other than 300 dude Gerard Butler. So for this edition of Celebs Hunter blog, let’s examine the many ways Jennifer Aniston has gone wrong with the men in her life since Brad.

Vince Vaughn: He was the first guy Jen hooked up with post-Brad. They met on the set of their movie The Break Up and sparked a romance. Vince has been a known player, being linked to several starlets, but Jen was looking for something to take her mind off her messy divorce and the two landed in each other’s arms. But joy didn’t last long fro the two and they broke up for undisclosed reasons.

John Mayer: After trying the single life for a while, Jen rebounded with the pop singer. From the get-go it seemed it was an unusual match. Jen was this actress who was serious about becoming a major movie star, while John was just… well, lets just say that the only relationship John Mayer can have with anyone is with himself. But again, Jen ignored the signs and naysayers and went ahead with the relationship only to have it implode because of a third-party: TWITTER.

And now Gerard Butler: The manly action star of 300, Rock N Rolla, and others. But despite his macho image, he has been inundated with rumors of homosexuality. But again, Jen doesn’t seem to mind those rumors (no matter how insistent they are) and is looking to go ahead with the romance. I have this feeling that this will all end badly for Jen when his gay sex tape comes out in the middle of their relationship and she will again find herself brokenhearted and confused.

So what’s an aging 40-year-old actress who’s film career is hanging by a thread going to do? I have one word of suggestion: Lesbianism! Worked for Lindsay Lohan. Oh, wait… Still, she should be willing to give it a try. This whole straight thing ain’t working for her so there’s that alternative. And it’ll give her a bit more edge when she does it. And let’s all hope a lezzie sex tape will emerge from that.

It’s sex tapes and other Hollywood shame you can find here, all for you to discover.

These Hollywood couples are just dropping like flies. Although, I have to admit that whenever Jennifer Aniston is mentioned, I’m not surprised to hear about a break-up. After having her heart crushed into a million little pieces when Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie, Jen has pretty much left a trail of man carnage ever since, jumping from man to man and never having any lasting relationship. So it comes as no shock that she and her latest manwhore John Mayer have been rumored to have broken up finally.

I say finally because rumor is this isn’t the first time these two have ended their relationship. Though I don’t know the specifics of previous alleged breakups since they were never really reported in the media, I have a pretty good idea of the things these two fight about. Hair products. Diet regimens. The fact that’s he’s dating a grandma. Little things that almost always cause a snag in any relationship.

Rumor is he broke up with her. Though neither of their “reps” are talking right now, it’s speculated that it happened after Jen’s European tour promoting Marley & Me.

If you ask me, they shouldn’t break up. There, I’m taking a stand. I say that because they have so much in common. They’re both irritating. They both suck at what they do. And they both have this misconception that they’re funny. Just because you were on a hit TV sitcom for 10 years where every brilliant quip was written for her doesn’t make you a funny person. And neither is having so much free time to make video blogs and invite all of your cool celeb friends and pollute the internet with your trash because you’re too lazy to make your crap music.

I really hope that this rumor isn’t true. Only for the reason that these two should not be allowed back into the dating world. Who knows how many people they’ll inflict their own brand of crazy on. So best of luck to the not-so-happy couple. Work it out ya crazy kids!

And speaking of crazy, take a look over here and see more crazy Hollywood happenings.

One’s an A-list Academy Award winning actress who’s bad-girl behavior has been fodder for tabloids and celeb bloggers; the other’s a former TV star who’s transition into major-movie star has been rife with drama and disappointment. Two girls with seemingly nothing in common besides the business they both work in and yet, they have another thing in common: Brad Pitt.

Yes, I’m talking about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. By now, you know the story. I don’t need to repeat it here. For the longest time since the “incident” the two have been avoiding each other like the plague, Angelina doing her best impression of a happy homemaker by snatching up properties all over the world and adopting practically anything that needs a mother, and Aniston doing her best to achieve box-office recognition while jumping from man to man until finally settling on musical douche John Mayer. In a world where two people that have no reason to come across one another, fate will always find a way to do just that. And that’s exactly what happened at Sunday’s Oscars.

Sure, Jennifer avoided the red carpet opting instead to go through the back door — no doubt a smart move else she’d be answering two million different versions of the question “How do you feel about Brad and Angelina being here?”. She probably just thought she’d do her spiel and leave and that would be it. Well, I am here to tell you…

That’s exactly what happened.

Yes, that’s right. A perfect time for one of the sexiest catfights of all time, one that will be talked about at water coolers and lunch breaks for eternity, was ruined by just plain politeness and avoidance. The two shared the same air for like a brief instance when Jen was on stage and Brad and Angie were in the audience not ten feet away. But aside from a few awkwardly random cutaway shots to Angie during Jen’s shtick, nothing really happened. I was expecting jello-flinging at the very least! Okay, maybe a raised eyebrow or two, but even that was withheld. Damn these dainty Hollywood actresses!

I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til Jen and Angie do an updated version of Whatever Happened To Baby Jane to wait for them to duke it out. Meanwhile, check out some other bad behaivior from Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie over on this site if, like me, you feel cheated out of a prime girlfight opportunity.

Recently i heard that Jennifer Aniston has some kind of pubic hair fetish. No, not that she hairy kind of woman, but it seems that she has a personal pubic hair removal assistant. So thats called a brazillian , right ?

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