Category Archives: Grammy winner

Mariah Carey can eat you whole

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She went from stick-thin with no boobies when she started, then curvy with fake boobies towards the middle of her career, then big and busty with quarelling breasties a couple years back, slimmed down for her last album release that made a People Magazine cover, and now singer/actress/yo-yo dieter Mariah Carey is back to being a heffer. Yup, after asking people to Touch Her Body, it seems that now there is a lot more to touch. According to reports, in the midst of recording her next album (barfly entitled Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel) she has gained twenty pounds that people can clearly see from her many many photo ops and red carpet appearances. She now looks even more drag-a-licious than ever bordering on looking like a linebacker. But that’s not Mariah’s biggest concern right now.

She’s gotten a bit of bad luck with her movie career (or lack thereof) because her latest craptastic Tenesse made a mere seven hundred dollars in it’s opening weekend. Seven hundred! With the amount of money she spends on her Hello Kitty collection you’d think she would fork over a few thousand more to buy tickets to her own movie. Just like what Beyonce supposedly did for her movie Obsessed and ended up being the number one movie of that weekend. Mariah clearly doesn’t know how to get ahead in the movie business. That makes the fifth consecutive big-screen flop for Mariah. The Bachelor, Glitter, Wise Girls, and State Property 2 being her previous “films”. You would think she’d get a clue by now. She may have better luck with her next film, the Sundance-winning drama Push: Based on the Novel by Sapphire which will be released in November.

So while she’s packing on the pounds and making movies that flop, Mariah is still keeping busy with trying to make more radio-friendly music. Now that E=MC2 failed to reach expectations, she’s hoping her next release will bring her more luck. And for that, she knows she can’t be a fatty. So she’ll go on some kind of crash diet (read: diet pills) before the album is released so she’ll be airbrush-ready by the time it comes out. After all, it would be pretty difficult to photoshop an entire music video. And with the way she’s proud of her chi-chis, I doubt she’s want an entire vid where we just see her face. So let’s await the return of Mariah – bulimia and all. Until then, check out some hot Hollywood honeys doing dirty deeds right here.

Amy Winehouse gets drunk and passes out. Must be Tuesday.

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It seems that nearly dying and losing whatever career she has left has not let booze-hound and crack-head Amy Winehouse from reaching for the sky. And by sky I mean Skyy Vodka. It sure hasn’t dampened her spirit in the least. And by spirit I mean the many available bottled and awaiting eager lips to provide an escape from it all. Just goes to show that some people just cannot change.

She’s still on the island resort of St. Lucia where she seems to have been for months now, and she was reported to have fainted while doing some crazy karate moves. Kinda like the ones you see here. When word of what happened got out the spin team chalked it up to “dehydration” claiming that Amy has been having so much fun that she forgot to hydrate. That would have been a perfectly good excuse if people didn’t spot her at a local club the next day downing drinks like they were becoming extinct. It didn’t help when a few hours later she was seen passed out stone-cold drunk at one of the tables. Looks like the bout of dehydration struck her again!

Now, I am not gonna sit here and preach about the dangers of alcohol. That would be hypocritical of me. After all, most people who did great things were drunks. Earnest Hemingway. Lionel Barrymore. Pretty much everyone during the Roman empire. George W. Bush. Okay, that last one is debatable. So may be this is Amy’s way of channeling her artistic juices (I so DO NOT wanna think about Amy WInehouse’s juices) and funneling them into her music. The only problem is, she’s not doing any of her music. Record company executives are furious over the long wait for her to finish her new album, and they’re running out of patience. They would abandon plans, but they’ve already paid her a very hefty advance on the songs. So she’s just wasting that money away on cheap booze and crazy karate lessons.

So if she is one to glug before greatness, then let her be. But use this prodigious talent wisely. Get results. Work first, paaaarty later. Don’t fall on your face and drown in a pool of your own vomit. Get your bony ass moving and do amazing things. The crazy can wait. For now, have a little bit of creative flow and let things smooth out of you. Who knows, you just might enjoy it.

And you will definitely enjoy some crazy, sexy, and revealing celeb stuff here.

LeAnn Rimes is not having an affair. And we care because…?

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LaLa Land is known for having co-actors fall in love with each other when working on a movie. When it happens, it’s celebrated. When one or both of the actors are married, that’s spells S-C-A-N-D-A-L. Anyone who followed the shit storm that was Brad-Angie-Jennifer knows what I’m talking about. But unlike that beauty-trilogy of A-listers, this time around the controversial “affair” is happening between country singer turned “actress” LeAnn Rimes and her co-star in their shiteous Lifetime TV movie, beefcake man candy Eddie Cibrian. I wouldn’t be surprised if you go “who?”

Now, the obvious question is: Why the hell is this worth writing about? Well, personally I think LeAnn Rimes is hot. It’s easy to believe that someone would totally have the hots for her, including her co-star. So despite the clear attempt at drumming up publicity for their TV movie, I still wanna write about it. Because, when everyone involved went through so much trouble to stage this affair, pay the magazine to run the story, supply false photographs as evidence, then spin it as if the two stars involved had absolutely nothing to do with it and are completely surprised by the story breaking, well… ya gotta give ‘em what they want: publicity!

But what irks me so much is the product they’re drumming up buzz for. We’re not talking about some important piece of cinematic art. Heck, it ain’t even some 100 million dollar trashy special effects action film. It’s a fucking Lifetime movie people! My grandma watches that channel! I can’t believe out of the many ways they can drum up publicity for this crappy movie, they resort to such a lurid act of buzz-drumming.

But despite their best efforts, there is no way in hell I’ll be convinced enough to watch that movie. Unless they tell me it’s got some steamy fuck scenes, LeAnn gets undressed every 3 minutes, and she simulates swallowing jizz. If all that’s present in the movie, I’m definitely watching it. But clearly, it’s Lifetime so none of that will be happening. Shame, though. LeAnn in extremely dirty acts – that’s certainly something worth drumming up buzz for! Kinda like the steamy and controversial stuff you’ll find over here.