Category Archives: celeb break-up

Jennifer Aniston is starting to get desperate

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It’s been a while since Jennifer Aniston’s twat has been sprinkled with semen and so it seems that now she’s desperate enough to get some peen, even that of Twitter-lover, ex-boyfriend John Mayer. Yup, after rumors of trying to get back together with ex-husband Brad Pitt, and midnight hook-ups with 300 star Gerard Butler, Jen is getting tired of the single life and would just like a quick fuck. So I guess she ain’t getting none from the two other dudes and she’ll just have to settle for limp-dicked “musician” John who she’s supposedly been texting and calling while drunk on her ass. Reports say that while filming her new shitty comedy The Baster, Jennifer has gotten lonelier and sadder, prompting the drunk-dialing that occurs. And while Gerard is off slaughtering people in his new movie and Brad has Angelina’s hawkeye on him all the time, the only guy that’s available to her is poor little mankini-wearing John. Yes, the guy that dumped her over Twitter. That John Mayer.

Is this what the world is coming to? What does it mean for the rest of us when a semi-attractive single 40-year old woman with a vibrant career and a desire to stay relevant despite her old age has to stoop down to get some peen? It seems like we’re not the only ones disgusted by this behavior. Jen’s loyal friend from Friends Courteney Cox-Arquette has hit her over the head since finding out about Jen’s late-night desperation. Courteney and John never got along when Jen and John were still dating and gave a blood offering to the gods when the two finally broke up. And now, Jennifer has the gall to say something like “I act from the heart, and if I lose some friends for wanting to get with John, then so be it.” Okay, bitch needs to listen to her sensible cougar friend and get a major reality check. Short-term hook-ups with major douchebags will go nowhere. Jen should take a cue from Courteney and grow up, act her age (no more of these playing starry-eyed twentysomethings looking for love in the big city crap), and get serious.

If Jen is so hungry for some cock, she should just go out and hire a stripper, or call boy. Or, heck any one of those vibrant young up-and-coming actors who are dying to get some ancient vadge would even do. Just put down the phone and step away from the Mayer. The last thing Jen wants to do is get a helping of a Mayer weiner, because she’ll be right back where she started. She’s already gotten a bit of respect for dumping that twat, she shouldn’t turn back now. Who knows Jen, you’re final fuck with John might end up on Twitter. Then you’ll be in deep shit. See more of your favorite stars get into some deep shit right here.

Katie Price gets dumped by Peter Andre, argue over their supply of spray tan

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As far as fame whores go, Katie Price and Peter Andre rival even the biggest in-your-face famous-for-no-reason couples in showbiz today (yeah, I’m looking at you Speidi!). They seemed to be all over, flaunting their fake tans and tight bodies. More so Katie who exposes her rock-hard plastic titties in revealing dresses every chance she gets. The two seemed like the perfect couple – starving for attention and reveling in the Hollywood lifestyle. But no amount of hair products and Gold’s Gym memberships can save the two now as it has been officially released that Britain’s most grating couple are getting a divorce.

In actuality, the couple who has been together four years and shares two children together have been having some problems for some time now. No doubt brought about by Katie’s many wild drinking sessions which is rumored to have been the straw that broke the Andre’s back. It’s bad enough that he gets suffocated by those over-inflated funbags every night, he has to deal with her drunken actions as well. Well, not anymore since he was the one who filed the divorce papers. In a statement released by Katie, she says she is devastated and saddened by this turn of events. “We have children together and I am devastated and disappointed by Peter’s decision to separate and divorce me – as I married him for life,” Britain’s The Sun quoted Price as saying. Honey, no one marries for life. Even you. You just found someone who had a smidgen of fame and decided to latch on to that like the celeb-hungry leech you are.

Now the two are going their separate ways. And while this is devastating for Katie, the rest of us wouldn’t even shed a tear. Despite being tabloid fodder and the topic of several hate posts and image-bashing from bloggers all over, nobody really givers a rat’s ass about these two. Except maybe the UK people, who still manage to tune in every week  to get the lowdown on the inner-lives of these reality TV stars. Their shows still rate well, their latest one Katie & Peter: Stateside still manages a million viewers a week. But then again, this is Britain we’re talking about. A reality-show obsessed nation who prefer trash TV that quality scripted shows.

So for now, we just have to wait and see how all this goes. If they’ve learned anything from their stay in the US, they should know that a high-profile break-up is the best thing they can do for their carrers. Because then comes the inevitable reunion, book deal, TV appearances, and magazine covers. Which I have a sinking feeling will happen for these two nitwits. Anything to stay relevant. Speaking of desperate to be relevant, check out all the stars here caught in embarassing moments.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt splitting up to make money and ratings

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Just when you thought fame-hungry sluts Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt couldn’t get any more desperate for attention, another bit of “news” concerning the couple has just been released to the press. They’re breaking up. And before all you boning-for-Heidi dudes start cheering in your cubicles or bedrooms because she’s finally gonna be single – HOLD ON. The news just gets shittier.

According to sources, the break-up is all part of a publicity stunt/plot point for the next season of The Hills, where producers are scared of a huge ratings drop since Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge will be MIA by then. So, the producers of the “reality” show are now “scripting” a break-up, complete with mad press coverage, front-page tabloid exclusives, a long drawn-out late night talk show appearance period, and then the inevitable reunion where the beautiful couple will most probably cover People Magazine or Us Weekly with the headline “Together Again”. I don’t know about you, but this shit is pissing me off!!!

First of all, how stupid do these people think we are? Everyone knows that The Hills is far from reality. It’s about as real as Heidi’s tits. So to do something like this for what, ratings, is clearly just a means of trying to be talked about and making money for Heidi, Spencer, and MTV Networks. Are they that hard-up for storylines that they have to resort to this? Clearly they are.

Now that the planned break-up has broken out in the media, I wonder if the dynamic dud duo will still push through. A part of me wishes they do, just to see this whole charade come tumbling down on their empty skulls and make a fool of everyone. Just like the stars over here, doing some crazy-ass shit that we can all enjoy.