Celebrity Poser

Britney Spears was expected to arrive in court this morning to argue that she should retain at least some visitation rights of her two children.  Although not required to appear, it was explained to her by her council that it was extremely important for her to show and explain her actions over the past few months.  Friday, TMZ said it like this:

Monday’s custody hearing could be one of the most important days in Britney Spears’ life  Brit needs to face the judge to explain herself if she’s got any hope of getting her kids back. Our sources tell us if she doesn’t show, or is uncooperative, it could be curtains for her custody case.

Oh, hey guess what…
Though her assistant and a mohawked Kevin Federline arrived early this morning at L.A. Superior Court for another hearing in the ongoing custody battle, Britney Spears is still a no-show.
Perhaps she’s in need of some rest.
X17online.com is running photos of the star and her paparazzo beau Adnan Ghalib hitting CVS drug stores around 1 a.m. early Monday.

Kevin Federline has doubled security at his home now that Britney’s out of the hospital. He’s seriously pissed that she was released so soon and fears she’ll make a run at the boys like she did in February 2007, according to OK! Magazine:

“The boys are safe for now,” the source reveals to OK!. “But Kevin feels Britney is clearly deranged, and there’s no telling what she’ll do. After all, this is a woman who two days ago barricaded herself in her bedroom with her youngest child for three hours!” Adds the insider, “You can’t get mentally well in a hospital after 36 hours.”

A reliable source for People revealed today that Britney’s drug test was negative for drugs and alcohol echoing early reports that her episode was mental:

“She tested clean,” the source says. “This lady is as clean as clean can be, and has been for some time.”

Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn announced via their “People” that they’re divorcing after whatever amount of years and too long having been together, and thank God because they sucked as a couple.

Kate Moss is suing Pete Doherty to prevent him from releasing a sex tape the two made during their cocaine-fueled relationship. Page Six reports:

“The Babyshambles frontman is negotiating with Britain’s ITV2 network to tell all about their romance and share his home videos of her in a documentary titled “Kate & Pete: A Love Story.” Doherty, who split with Moss last summer, could make $1 million, a source said, adding, “Producers hope he’ll let them use a lot of film he and Kate shot on camcorders.”

Really folks? 1 Million?That kinda of cold hard scratch to see two coked out drugheads bumping uglies?  Anyways if it already released then you can bet we’re only a few days from it being released all over the internet…. to us… for….. free

Life & Style is reporting “Jamie Lynn and Casey are NOT together,” a source close to the pair tells Life & Style. “They’ve broken up numerous times, but he was her first and she kept taking him back,” says the insider. They’re not dating now. He’s really got nothing to offer this baby. He’s a kid himself. They have no plans to get married. At this point, Jamie Lynn has asked her mom — and not Casey — to be in the delivery room with her.”

But in all fairness, none of the women in the spears family have dads!!

Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Salomon on Friday, according to CelebTV.com. The couple had been married for a little over two months and it was the third time down the aisle for each of them. It was rumored that Pam and Rick would star in a reality show, but Pam shot down that idea on Thursday in her blog:

“I WAS considering…Only to promote and have people see what it’s like to create a show and be on stage starring in a big Vegas production. (probably not happening anymore) not my family life. (Never my kids) I have to make a lot of big decisions. The choices I have to make now are about quality of life. And meaning. Not about money or fame for no good reason. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But no regrets — Just living such a huge dream….I’m blessed. So many options. I can’t complain. I can be confused.”

Barely a month after announcing to the world what a great guy Chace Crawford was, Carrie Underwood and her new boyfriend have reportedly split. Why? Crawford’s penis allegedly has a fear of commitment.
Page Six says:

Crawford was seen several weeks ago making out with a blonde who was not Underwood, and he spent Wednesday night at Beatrice Inn locking lips with his co-star, Leighton Meister - and it wasn’t for the show. A rep for “Gossip Girl” didn’t return calls.”

Seriously, even if you don’t have any game now is the time to strike, she’s down and after a couple unsuccessful relationships, nows the time to pay her a compliment and go for broke!  Nerds UNITE!

Hulk Hogan is contesting his wife Linda Bollea’s request for alimony and states in a court filing that she can support herself and son Nick. That’s if Nick even wants to stay with his mom. The Herald Tribune reports:

Hogan’s petition, filed Wednesday under his real name of Terry Bollea, also says their son Nick, who is 17 and no longer a student, is old enough to decide which parent he wants to live with.
Hogan wants the couple’s assets and liabilities equitably distributed. He intends to continue the family’s health insurance coverage, the petition states.

Lindsay Lohan is finished with snowboarder Riley Giles. She ditched him after the two had a tumultuous Thanksgiving weekend that ended with Lindsay drinking. A source for E! News talks about what went down:

On why Lindsay ditched Riley:
“She got tired of him pouting all the time.”

On why Riley was such a pouty bitch:
“It was fine when they were in Utah, just the two of them. But then they returned to L.A. and Lindsay was shooting a movie, photographers followed them everyone, she had meetings with this agent, that publicist, this director. His ego couldn’t take it.”

On why Lindsay’s friends weren’t impressed:
“They thought he was unsophisticated and told her she should have left him in Utah with his snowboard. He never paid. Yeah, we know Lindsay is the rich and famous one, but come on. Be the man once in a while!”