Celebrity Poser

I know we’ve all been making fun of Jessica Simpson since she started in the industry, but now I suggest that we stop. For a little while. So instead of laughing at her recurring dumb-titis, let’s pause for a while to watch her as she wallow in sorrow after she’s been discarded by her boyfriend of two years, Tony Romo. Sure, Jessica’s being seen publicly partying, but really, it cannot be mistaken what she’s feeling inside. Look at these pics, isn’t it obvious? She’s about to… vomit.

It’s the second time this week that she went partying and got drunk. The last time she got wasted was at Katsuya with her sister Ashlee Simpson. The second time was last night. She celebrated her best friend Ken Paves’s birthday at Beso in LA, and looked a little too drunk as she was escorted back to her car.

I don’t really care about Jess’s feelings, though. Why I want to pause and watch her drown in sorrow is because she copes by drinking and we all know that girls do the nasty naughty things when drunk. Plus, Jess is a blonde. And you know what they say, blondes are more fun. So, Jessica, it’s okay to drink in order to heal your broken heart. Just make sure you wear skimpy little outfits when you party, okay? So there. If you want more drunk pics of Jessica, go here.

Recently brokenhearted, Jessica Simpson shook off her sadness away by spending yesterday afternoon with her personal trainer and working out her, uhm, cholesterol-rich body. And no, I’m not saying she’s fat. No, I really don’t. So anyway, this is the first time she’s seen in public after her boyfriend of two years, Tono Romo, disposed her the night before her birthday. Shit, that’s gotta be fucking painful for Jessica’s head. She probably didn’t understand anything that happened that night.

Even Jessica’s family are keeping their eyes on her because they are afraid she might do a Britney Spears (and now, Mischa Barton) sooner or later. People Magazine reports that a family friend said, “The family used to have such faith in Jessica and they worried about Ashlee Simpson. Now they are fully confident in Ashlee’s choices and they worry most of their days about Jessica.“

This break-up is a good thing for Jessica. Well, for the past two years she has been complacent enough that someone still thinks she looks awesome even when she’s, uhm, weighing much much heavier, that she doesn’t care about her looks, life and career anymore. Now, I bet she’ll finally have the balls to stand up and look in a mirror. It’s been a long time since she moved. And well, see for herself the damage she has done to her once beautiful body, which by the way, you can check out here.

She carried a baby for nine months, then weaned the baby for months after, so it’s no surprise that as soon as Ashlee Simpson decided to stop breastfeeding, she hit the sauce big time. Too bad it happened in a public place. At a high-profile event. In front of her husband Pete Wentz’s ex-girlfriend. And to make matters worse - bitch went ahead and said something really really nasty. Yup. The triangle of Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, and ex-girlfriend Michelle Trachtenberg found themselves in a very awkward moment when Ashlee went a little too far with the booze and experienced verbal diarrhea directed towards Michelle.

The three were at the DJ Hero video game launch party and people could see that the group did look awkward with each other. Actually, it was Ashlee who looked uncomfortable with the situation. Obviously, she seemed like she had something to say, but didn’t for the sake of propriety. Then, the booze started flowing. Soon after, Ashlee started acting differently and began gyrating stripper-like on Pete which kinda made things uncomfortable for EVERYONE at the party. Sure enough, Pete decided to pull his missus away to a more private location when, upon leaving, witnesses heard Ashlee say to Michelle “I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!” which just left Michelle looking stunned and confused. What a way to make a spectacle of one’s self, huh?

I don’t know what brought this about. If it was Ashlee who cheated on Michelle and Pete’s relationship, then why is she the one being a bitch? I guess no one will ever know. All we know is that Pete told people that the whole thing was just a little misunderstanding and that Ashlee apoloigized to Michelle for the remark and now eveything is hunky-dory. Sound kinda fishy to me, but hey, Hollywood is such a small town. These two are bound to run into each other again, and when that happens you can be sure the paps will be all over that shit. One thing I do know for sure, I don’t think Michelle will be guesting on Melrose Place 2.0 anytime soon until this whole thing blows over. That and Ashlee won’t be asking Michelle to be her baby’s godmother. If you want to see more crazy bitches doing embarassing stuff, drop by here.

Page Six (day) and WireImage (night)

Page Six is wondering if Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged because she seems to be wearing a ring on her wedding finger?  Nice shitty ring from a guy in a shitty poser band…

MSNBC says that Ashlee Simpson is pissed today because Jamie Lynn Spears stole the spotlight from her yesterday. Wait, what?

After spending the last year working on a new album, Ashlee’s debut video was set to release to big fanfare.
Unfortunately, the spotlight just wasn’t meant to be for Simpson, thanks to the news that Jamie Lynn Spears is with child.
“Ashlee can’t believe this happened. She’s so disappointed,” said a source.
“Her sister, Jessica, grew up in the shadow of Britney; it took years for Jess separate herself from her. How ironic that Ashlee’s big day ends up spent in the shadow of Britney’s little sister.”
“Joe Simpson doesn’t do anything by chance. This date (for the video release) was picked clearly; he expected it to be the talk of the town,” said the source. “Jamie Lynn didn’t just steal the spotlight; she sucked the oxygen out of the week. This week it’s all about her.”