Celebrity Poser

Kim Kardashian threw a party over the weekend at White House and apparently walked down a catwalk greeting fans. But none of that’s important. What is important is the fact that I’ve seen less insulation on a fucking astronaut. So, without further ado and in spite of the cries from our server, I ask you, intrepid readers, the most controversial question of our time: Is Kim Kardashian wearing a buttpad?

DISCUSS!

UPDATE: Added four more pics that definitely suggest padding of the buttal region. (Particularly here and here.)

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Kim Kardashian threw a party over the weekend at White House and apparently walked down a catwalk greeting fans. But none of that’s important. What is important is the fact that I’ve seen less insulation on a fucking astronaut. So, without further ado and in spite of the cries from our server, I ask you, intrepid readers, the most controversial question of our time: Is Kim Kardashian wearing a buttpad?

DISCUSS!

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Karina Smirnoff and her Dancing With The Stars lover/partner A.C. Slater hit the beach in Miami over the holiday weekend. Slater and Karina attempted to pull off some dance moves in the ocean until Karina’s bare nipple hit him in the nose. A.C. responded by dumping her ass face first into the sea. All, while screaming, “Ew! EW! Ohmygod ohmygod it touched my nose! Does anyone have a wetnap? Seriously.”

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions. Unless your boss is cool with Saved By the Bell characters getting nipped in the retina then, by all means, proceed.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Melanie Brown, a.k.a. Scary as Hell Spice, donned her bikini and downed champagne while vacationing in Miami over the weekend. Jesus, I would love for our abs to battle. Mostly to hear the distinctive “clank” of metal on metal followed by “Shit, love, we should have a drink.” Next thing you know, it’s the Mel B Signature Move: Kerpow! Paternity suit. Why didn’t you warn me, Eddie Murphy?

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Karina Smirnoff and her Dancing With The Stars lover/partner A.C. Slater hit the beach in Miami over the holiday weekend. Slater and Karina attempted to pull off some dance moves in the ocean until Karina’s bare nipple hit him in the nose. A.C. responded by dumping her ass face first into the sea. All, while screaming, “Ew! EW! Ohmygod ohmygod it touched my nose! Does anyone have a wetnap? Seriously.”

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions. Unless your boss is cool with Saved By the Bell characters getting nipped in the retina then, by all means, proceed.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

British FHM model Bianca Gascoigne lounged around in her bikini this weekend with some gal pals. Some of you across the pond might also recognize Bianca from her nude pictorial in, I can’t believe I’m typing this, Nuts Magazine (Link is way NSFW). For those of you here in America that are wondering why should we care, obviously, you missed the mission statement of this site:

Breasts.

More bikini pics coming up because, dammit, I missed you guys.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Lindsay Lohan went for a dip while partying in Cannes over the weekend. Is anyone else terribly disappointed by these pics as I am? I mean, you’d figure Lindsay Lohan in a bikini would look jugs-rific but not so much. So basically, Lindsay Lohan naked = meh. Lindsay Lohan in a bikini = meh meh. But Lindsay Lohan rocking the push-up bra = WOO-HOO!!! Remind me to send her a gift card to Victoria’s Secret. And some super glue.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are taking their relationship public and were spotted in Monaco enjoying a day of aquatic romance. I like to believe that after their boat ride, Lance put his arm around Kate and softly whispered in her ear, “Kate, when we have sex later, I should probably warn you I’m missing a nut. End transmission.” *sniff* He’s a keeper.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Years ago, I swore a sacred oath to always post pictures of chicks in bikinis regardless of race, age or booblessness. You see, my father before me was a bikini poster. And his father before him. And so on and so forth through the Superficial lineage. Our sacred tradition dates all the way back to Krog the Cave Poster who was revered as a pioneer in his tribe. Until one day, fire shot out of his cock forcing the elders to deem Krog a wizard. He was fed to a woolly mammoth but not before passing on his bikini sharing skills to his son: Sir Jesus From The Bible Christ Superficial. True story.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back

Denise Richards is taking advantage of the news vacuum created by the 3-Day Weekend and opening her mouth to anyone in the press that will listen. This time around, it’s Page Six who has the scoop on Charlie Sheen’s sperm:

Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

And then, like any good divorcee, Denise continued rambling about her interactions with Charlie:

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold,” Richards said. “His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.”

I don’t want to call this press barrage brilliant marketing for Denise’s show - because it’s not. I’ve now gone from having zero interest in her show to wanting to break into anyone’s house that’s watching it and drown their TV in the tub. It’s actually a pretty feasible aspiration as long as those five people* live close to each other. Also, I’m not even bothering to stop Denise herself from watching. Are you kidding me? She’s infected with tranny-sperm. Eww! Gross!

*Margin of error +/- 5. But mostly -.

Original post by The Superficial Staff and software by Elliott Back